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| YEP HERE IS A USELESS EGG, APPARENTLY LIKE MINE |
So today was what has become known as the dreaded 'failure appointment'. As discussed last cycle Dr J feels that after 9 rounds of IVF/ICSI and several of those using donor sperm and our result of 4 miscarriages, it's time to make another change. That change is to look for an egg donor.
H & I are were going to take a break from all this till March 2012, so now this gives us time to explore every way possible to find an egg donor. When we do find an egg donor, Dr J has talked about the possibility of fertilising the donor eggs with half of H's sperm & the other half a donor. So say we get 10 eggs, 5 will have ICSI done with H's sperm & the other 5 with a donor. That way we are covering all bases.
It is a big decision to head down this road BUT we had discussed the possibility of this at the start of the year when we switched to using donor sperm. If that was unsuccessful, then donor eggs were the next step. We worked through the disappointment issue of not having a child fully, biologically ours then. No it's not what you expect or plan for when trying to start a family, but we desperately want a baby and will try anything or anyway to conceive one.
We have so much love to give and want a child or children, that the biology is not an issue. I know a few ladies who have become pregnant with the use of donor eggs and they have told me they love that child just as much, if not more & never think of it as not being biologically theirs.
The hard part will be finding a donor. Hopefully we can find someone in our city and the specifications are:The donor has to be aged 18 - 35 and have finished having their own family, be healthy and pretty much be an angel to want to give this gift to us. The donor undergoes a partial IVF cycle of medication to produce eggs & has the egg pick procedure, then their part is done.
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| LOOKING FOR AN ANGEL |
If you are reading this & think you would like to do this or know someone who would, then please contact me via the contact form for more info. We are in Australia and overseas donor's are not an option as the eggs would have to be frozen & sent over here & the freezing can create damage to the eggs. Please only contact if you are GENUINE about pursuing this with us.
So Last Christmas I wished, prayed & imagined that this christmas, we would have a baby or one on the way. Christmas is here & may wish isn't. I'm almost scared to wish that this be the case next Christmas. But if would be wonderful to be sitting here & have trouble reaching my keyboard to blog because of a big ole baby bump :)
Shania Twain released a great song earlier this year called Today is your day & one of the lines from it is "Don't give up here, dont you quit" well there is no way I'm quitting or giving up on this dream to be a mother & for H & I to have our much longed for family. They say everything happens for a reason, even though you may not understand it at the time. Hopefully this is the case with our story.
Starting the new year with new hope.
Listen to a song that I take a lot of inspiration from Today is your day By Shania Twain below:
While our IVF journies do differ I do understand the frustration of making that plan of saying next year or this is the year..I shouldve had a 2 month old by now :( but I think everything happens for a reason as messed up as it sounds with all the loss we both have suffered I still believe that. I suffered from severe Migraines and TMJ following my failure and had all sorts of testing and meds that wouldve been bad for pregnancy but now I am better and stress wise I am in a much better place then I was a year ago. I don't know how your family and friends are with your journey everyone says they understand but unless they have gone through it they really don't..Well I am praying for you everyday & hoping tons and tons of baby dust for you!! Im glad I happened to have insomia that night & have jennajameson on my twitter because if I didn't I wouldve never seen the retweet & prayed for you! I hope a year from now we will be sharing happy news durning the Holidays with each other. If you ever need to vent find me on twitter or email me cristyeannbrown@gmail.com its linked to my smartphone so its pretty much like texting me but no long distance fees. take care sweets!!!
ReplyDeletexoxo
Cristye